Bra: a piece of clothing that women wear under their outer clothes to support their breasts
Why am I writing this article? Three experiences that I have had just need to be known by everyone.
This one had happened nearly two years ago. I had shared an article titled ’10 types of Bra’s women need now’. Now you can guess what the content of this article would have been, informative yet hilarious. There was mention of a bra which sparkled when someone checked your assets and another one which had a built in shock provider for those lunatics who have a mind to grope you. I found the article amusing and shared it on my FB wall.
A few days later, something strange occurred. A guy acquaintance, one of my many friends on FB messaged me. He was very concerned that my account had been hacked. When I enquired on why he thought so, he was hesitant to tell me. When I pressed him, however, he uncomfortably told me that ‘someone’ had shared an article about ‘Bra’s’. Naturally, he jumped to be the first conclusion because according to him, I, being the good girl will never share such an article. His words, not mine.
Maybe he was under the impression that I may not even read such stuff, so liking and sharing is out of the question.
I had then confirmed that it had been me who had shared the article and that my account hadn’t been hacked. He was even more surprised. We didn’t talk much after that; neither in messages nor in person.
I just didn’t get it. What is this concept of good girls and bad girls? Don’t all girls wear bras? So if a girl talks about them or shares an interesting article, she is judged? Does it help the society decide her character or does it indeed help confirm that she does wear a bra? Shouldn’t she be marked as a good girl then?
I was very surprised myself as a result of this whole exchange. This was only one person. Did all guys think the same way?
But then I realized that women are worse. They will judge you for the brand you wear, which colour or style you choose, whether you wear it in the comfort of your own home, or when you are sleeping and so on and so forth. That is also when you actually talk about it. Some will judge you for being open about the whole thing.
So how are women worse? I will illustrate this by narrating two episodes; both of which occurred at my workplace.
As you must be aware by this point, I am a big reader and ‘FEMINA’ is my absolute favourite magazine. Like every woman’s magazine, it carried certain full page advertorials of different brands. Now, I had kept my volume of ‘FEMINA’ on my desk. The front cover had a double page bra advertisement on the inside. When the front cover flew because of the wind, the model wearing the skimpy lingerie was on display. When this happened, I wasn’t there at my desk.
It was brought to my notice later. You know how women give each other looks if someone’s bra strap is showing or if a woman has worn a pink bra under a black shirt, or how women raise their eyebrows when they suspect another of wearing a padded or push-up bra?
This was the same tone used to tell me, in a whisper, in a corner, that I should have taken care to keep the magazine on the back cover or under a stack of books or in my bag/ locker/ home. Because many women got uncomfortable as they saw the bra advertisement. Everyone wanted to know whose magazine was it and who had kept it that way. I was now under the scanner, which I shouldn’t have been as my magazine had been under a stack of books. Someone had taken it without my knowledge and carelessly slapped it back.
My point now is why do we need to find someone to blame? Why do women get uncomfortable seeing another wearing a bra?
But I learned an important lesson that day. My magazine is always in the bag or locker when it is not at home.
The third incident completely threw me. Let me give you a blow by blow account.
It was a Friday morning and I happened to be free. So I asked my friend a question. It had been roaming in my mind.
“Why do Punjabi people call each other- ‘Mera Bra Hai’?” You got it. In my rush to finish talking, I mispronounced ‘Pra’ as ‘Bra’. From the reactions that I received from the women around, you’d think that I had committed a crime or uttered a swear word. It was a serious mispronunciation, that’s all. I felt like laughing at my slip of tongue. Every other woman who was sitting at my table right then, even the one sitting on the table behind me heard me and stopped doing their work to stare at me. Some were stunned; some looked disgusted, while others were openly curious.
None of the reactions were positive. It was only after I explained myself that a few cracked a smile and a few shook their heads before resuming their work.
Why such a stern reaction?
The only lesson I learned from this interaction was that I need to lower my volume. I tend to be a little loud in my daily conversations. It has only worsened because of me being in the teaching field. I need to be loud at all times.
The question that I had posed to my friend, I never got a satisfactory answer. Everyone got uncomfortable or busy pretty fast.
So we girls and women should wear a bra, preferably at all times but not speak about it even once? If we do speak, it should be in hushed tones and not in a public place. In any case, be prepared to be judged.
If women are so narrow minded, then why have any better expectations from men?
I am in two minds now. I have written the article but am I going to post it? Am I afraid that someone will actually read it? And that ‘someone’ will actually have an opinion.
I definitely know one thing for sure. I am going to keep mum about all matters related to BRAS. If I do post it, which I must have since you are reading this, I am not posting or sharing the link on FB or any other social networking site.
Lesson learned. Mouth shut. Keep you Bra on.