Posted in Bookish

Life and Death: Stephenie Meyer

There are two book series that totally changed my life. Three, really, but I will come to the third one later.

harry potter

J.K.Rowling was, is and will always remain my favourite author. I can never get over the magic of Harry Potter. She literally had us, her readers, under her spell. So much so that even today, I reread all the books. I keep up with all the news that is happening in the Wizarding World. More than anything, the ‘Harry Potter’ book series reminds me of a happy childhood, of hours spent all together discussing every plot twist and turn, of staying up late to finish another chapter, of learning life lessons, waiting desperately for the next book to arrive, queuing up in a long line to get my hands on the book (sadly, I don’t own a single Harry Potter book. I always relied on the local library and my generous friends who actually purchased the books to read them.)

twilight

As I grew up, I got completely caught up in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga. The fact that she intended it to be a standalone novel really threw me off later. I am just really glad that she stuck to her idea. Everyone needs to believe in their ideas. Unlike me, who ends up discarding all the ideas of various stories running amok in my head as frivolous.

If she wouldn’t have stuck to her guns, I would have never met the dazzling Edward Cullen who was the first fictional character I fell in love with and am still in love with. I was blown away by his character. Who was this guy or should I say; vampire? I can write an entire month’s worth of articles on Edward Cullen. I had, in fact, written a song about him titled ‘Oh Edward’. It began this way:

‘Oh Edward                                                                                   

I am so in love with you

You are the perfect soul

I connect to’

It went on praising him and belittling Bella who I thought was unworthy of him. I had considered it to be so good that I was contemplating mailing it to Stephenie Meyer. But like I mentioned before, I chickened out. I always belittle my own work which is why my debut novel is yet unwritten. That’s a problem I will deal with later.

Hunger_games_trilogy

The third book series which I finished reading in three days flat and turned my world upside down was the mind blowing ‘The Hunger Games’ series written by the brilliant Suzanne Collins. It introduced me to the scary dystopian world and left me scarred.

If any of these authors decided to go back to their best selling books to spin a new tale, I would be among those readers who would be waiting with bated breath for the fresh arrival of their favourite characters; something new in familiar lands.

That’s what I thought would happen when I came upon an entire new section filled with the special ‘Tenth Anniversary Editions of Twilight’ in a local bookstore. I picked up a copy and perused the summary excitedly. What had Meyer dished out for us? Disappointment slammed through me. It was just a rehashed version of Twilight wherein Bella and Edward swapped places with Beau and Edythe respectively. The girl was the vampire and the guy was a human. I was baffled. But what cinched my horror was that there was NO EDWARD CULLEN!

Why do you think I was looking forward to more material from Meyer? BEACAUSE: EDWARD CULLEN.

I kept the book back on the shelf as if it had physically hurt me. I decided not to read it.

What changed my mind? Only that it was freely available in the local library.

I gave it a try. But….it finished badly. I couldn’t even read entire pages. I skipped a lot of them and reached the end quickly. The end was the disaster that I hadn’t been expecting at all. Of course, I knew that Meyer had written or rather rewritten ‘Life and Death’ (that’s what the dastardly book is called) with a specific end but I had thought that it would be just like ‘Twilight’, leaving it open to sequels.

Though I am infinitely grateful that Meyer sealed it with ‘Life and Death’, leaving no scope for horrendous sequels, I disliked the ending tremendously. Beau just readily turns into a vampire? What about his choice of becoming a father? Doesn’t that matter? What about Julie Black, the Jacob she-wolf? She didn’t get her say.

And don’t even get me started on the unspeakable names. ROYAL??  Noooo.

One may argue, the original names were awkward as well- Jasper, Emmet, or even Carlisle. But it was the ORIGINAL.

How could Stephenie Meyer do this? To herself, to her countless fans, to Edward Cullen?

If she really wanted to present us fans with new content and a worthy gift, why not finish writing the beautiful ‘Midnight Sun’, a retelling of Twilight from Edward’s point of view. It made me like Bella a little.

Stephenie herself mentioned considering completing ‘Midnight Sun’ but she’s still upset over the unauthorized leak of the first draft of the book which led to the decision of leaving the book incomplete, to the dismay of her fans!

Meyer got excited about ‘Life and Death’ and did that, rather than complete Edward Cullen’s story.

WHY?

WHY?

WHY? WHY?

If next time Stephenie Meyer wants to write new content in the world of vampires, Edward Cullen has to be there. He’s still out there, right, somewhere. He’s going to be existing till the end of time. He better be existing. If Meyer goes on and kills him….AARGH! I don’t think I could take it.

It is safe to say that I shouldn’t have attempted the Tenth Anniversary Edition. I knew I may get upset, I wasn’t very upbeat about it when it was out, so what was I thinking?

More to the point, what was Meyer thinking? To create a perfect world, only to destroy it? Well, okay, not to destroy it but turn it upside down. LITERALLY. The Anniversary Edition has Twilight on one side and Life and Death on the other-upside-down-side. Maybe this was Meyer’s way of giving a warning?

life and death

Anyway, I am not the only fan upset after reading….or skimming through ‘Life and Death’. It is good to know that I am not alone in my feelings.

They bothered me, these troublesome feelings. That’s why I had to put it on paper. I am not feeling any better now, (okay, slightly) but the fact remains.

I DID NOT LIKE ‘LIFE AND DEATH’. I would gladly take death in this case.

 

 

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Posted in Life Interuppted

B – Bra in Plain Sight

bra

Bra: a piece of clothing that women wear under their outer clothes to support their breasts

Why am I writing this article? Three experiences that I have had just need to be known by everyone.

This one had happened nearly two years ago. I had shared an article titled ’10 types of Bra’s women need now’. Now you can guess what the content of this article would have been, informative yet hilarious. There was mention of a bra which sparkled when someone checked your assets and another one which had a built in shock provider for those lunatics who have a mind to grope you. I found the article amusing and shared it on my FB wall.

A few days later, something strange occurred. A guy acquaintance, one of my many friends on FB messaged me. He was very concerned that my account had been hacked. When I enquired on why he thought so, he was hesitant to tell me. When I pressed him, however, he uncomfortably told me that ‘someone’ had shared an article about ‘Bra’s’. Naturally, he jumped to be the first conclusion because according to him, I, being the good girl will never share such an article. His words, not mine.

Maybe he was under the impression that I may not even read such stuff, so liking and sharing is out of the question.

I had then confirmed that it had been me who had shared the article and that my account hadn’t been hacked. He was even more surprised. We didn’t talk much after that; neither in messages nor in person.

I just didn’t get it. What is this concept of good girls and bad girls? Don’t all girls wear bras? So if a girl talks about them or shares an interesting article, she is judged? Does it help the society decide her character or does it indeed help confirm that she does wear a bra? Shouldn’t she be marked as a good girl then?

I was very surprised myself as a result of this whole exchange. This was only one person. Did all guys think the same way?

But then I realized that women are worse. They will judge you for the brand you wear, which colour or style you choose, whether you wear it in the comfort of your own home, or when you are sleeping and so on and so forth. That is also when you actually talk about it. Some will judge you for being open about the whole thing.

So how are women worse? I will illustrate this by narrating two episodes; both of which occurred at my workplace.

As you must be aware by this point, I am a big reader and ‘FEMINA’ is my absolute favourite magazine. Like every woman’s magazine, it carried certain full page advertorials of different brands. Now, I had kept my volume of ‘FEMINA’ on my desk. The front cover had a double page bra advertisement on the inside. When the front cover flew because of the wind, the model wearing the skimpy lingerie was on display. When this happened, I wasn’t there at my desk.

It was brought to my notice later. You know how women give each other looks if someone’s bra strap is showing or if a woman has worn a pink bra under a black shirt, or how women raise their eyebrows when they suspect another of wearing a padded or push-up bra?

This was the same tone used to tell me, in a whisper, in a corner, that I should have taken care to keep the magazine on the back cover or under a stack of books or in my bag/ locker/ home. Because many women got uncomfortable as they saw the bra advertisement. Everyone wanted to know whose magazine was it and who had kept it that way. I was now under the scanner, which I shouldn’t have been as my magazine had been under a stack of books. Someone had taken it without my knowledge and carelessly slapped it back.

My point now is why do we need to find someone to blame? Why do women get uncomfortable seeing another wearing a bra?

But I learned an important lesson that day. My magazine is always in the bag or locker when it is not at home.

The third incident completely threw me. Let me give you a blow by blow account.

It was a Friday morning and I happened to be free. So I asked my friend a question. It had been roaming in my mind.

“Why do Punjabi people call each other- ‘Mera Bra Hai’?” You got it. In my rush to finish talking, I mispronounced ‘Pra’ as ‘Bra’. From the reactions that I received from the women around, you’d think that I had committed a crime or uttered a swear word. It was a serious mispronunciation, that’s all. I felt like laughing at my slip of tongue. Every other woman who was sitting at my table right then, even the one sitting on the table behind me heard me and stopped doing their work to stare at me. Some were stunned; some looked disgusted, while others were openly curious.

None of the reactions were positive. It was only after I explained myself that a few cracked a smile and a few shook their heads before resuming their work.

Why such a stern reaction?

The only lesson I learned from this interaction was that I need to lower my volume. I tend to be a little loud in my daily conversations. It has only worsened because of me being in the teaching field. I need to be loud at all times.

The question that I had posed to my friend, I never got a satisfactory answer. Everyone got uncomfortable or busy pretty fast.

So we girls and women should wear a bra, preferably at all times but not speak about it even once? If we do speak, it should be in hushed tones and not in a public place. In any case, be prepared to be judged.

If women are so narrow minded, then why have any better expectations from men?

I am in two minds now. I have written the article but am I going to post it? Am I afraid that someone will actually read it? And that ‘someone’ will actually have an opinion.

I definitely know one thing for sure. I am going to keep mum about all matters related to BRAS. If I do post it, which I must have since you are reading this, I am not posting or sharing the link on FB or any other social networking site.

bra 2

Lesson learned. Mouth shut. Keep you Bra on.

 

Posted in T.V & Me

T.V shows and me

Just recently, I confessed to loving my T.V shows like my best friends. So, naturally when one of my favourite T.V shows- ‘White Collar’ is ending for me, I am literally sobbing here.

wc

The show ran on USA network for six seasons, the sixth being the shortest, with only six episodes. It aired its series finale on the 14th of December, 2014, more than three years ago.

But for me, the show is reaching its finale now. Just last week, I had a season five marathon. It was amazing! Watching back-to-back episodes of Neal and Mozzie’s camaraderie, Peter Burke’s efficient task management and Neal and Peter’s ever crackling chemistry just made my day! I had a two day marathon and I have already reached the sixth season, having completed watching the first two episodes.

That’s when I realized that I needed to go slow. I am only three episodes shy of watching the series finale. That is a big deal!

wc laugh

It’s not like I haven’t had a single show which had reached its end. ‘Gossip Girl’ ended way back in 2012. And I saw the final season last year in my Diwali Break. I know what the end was going to be like. It’s impossible to not know how your favourite T.V show ended when it’s all over the internet. But still, after watching the series finale and hating it as it killed off my favourite character (no one died, just the integrity of Dan Humphrey withered when he was revealed as the mysterious ‘Gossip Girl’. Why? Why? WHY?) I was moping around as if my best friend had shifted out of town. No more Gossip Girl. The thought made me incredibly sad. And the makers had successfully ruined all the re-runs for me with the reveal.

dan

All my other favourites, ‘Grey’s Anatomy, *Vampire Diaries’, and *‘Castle’ are still running. And even if they end tomorrow, I am still several seasons (at best, two) behind. ‘Kyle XY’ was another favourite which was suddenly pulled off air. It was really unfair. But I daresay, with the passing of time, I got over it.

kyle

I also continually find new shows which perk my interests. ‘The Originals’, a spin-off of the Vampire Diaries seems promising and I have to watch all three seasons!  Then there is ‘Revenge, Beauty and the Beast, The Blacklist, Teen Wolf, The Night Shift, Chicago Fire, Chasing Life’ and how can I forget- the superhero shows- ‘The Flash’ and ‘The Arrow’. These are the shows whose trailers and episodes, some even complete seasons have been seen and devoured by me. Then there is another list of shows like ‘The 100, Sherlock, Super Girl’ and ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ which I am yet to sample.

There are the one season wonders- shows which got cancelled after the first season- ‘Stalker, Containment, Eye Candy, Forever, The Secret Circle’, to name a few that need my watching.

caste

But whenever even one of these shows end, for me, I am going to be sad. After watching the final four episodes, there will be no more ‘White Collar’. The thought only brings tears to my eyes. And it’s best I write this article now and not after having seen the last episode. What if Neal doesn’t clean up his act? What if he gets what he wants? What if……

I know, I am rambling now, not explaining myself. But to understand my fears, you need to be a T.V show freak and you need to love this show. And if you haven’t as yet seen it, then thank me and get on with it. After all, you have six glorious seasons of ‘White Collar’ to go through.

wc all seasons

 

When I wrote this article, both The Vampire Dairies and Castle were airing. I was upset when I did finally see the White Collar finale, so had decided not to post this article. But I am changing my mind now. I need to know all of your reactions to White Collar (even though it’s been years) and about the list of shows that I have mentioned here.

vd

Posted in My Top Ten

Top Ten FB status’s that I will never upload on FB

fb

Let me begin by saying that people judge you all the time. They judge you when you are talking, walking, dancing, writing, reading, doing something and when you are not doing something. So obviously, how can they miss your online persona? How you portray yourself on the numerous social networking sites that you are attached to decides the number of comments and likes you receive. You may not even care about them, but you receive them anyway.

A first-rate solution would be to stop having any connection to the internet, except for the basic bill payments, advance booking, great deals and research and information. But that doesn’t stop anyone from judging you. In fact, that’s another added thing they will judge you on. It’s like life is a reality show you are an unwilling part of and these people are the unwanted judges.

So, the next solution to this problem of being judged is to be careful. I know you may be carefree. You may not heed all the stupidity happening around you. But what’s the harm in being careful?

Last year, I learnt my lesson the hard way. I had posted a few beautiful lines about having a very bad day at work.

“One of those rare days when your beautifully sculpted mask falls off and you have no one to blame but yourself.”

I had compared that day to having the ‘mask’ that you wear falling off at inopportune times. A cousin commented on the same, asking me to seek her as she was ‘only a call away’. I didn’t have her number, wasn’t close to her and found the comment stupid. I ignored the comment.

Somehow, the next time she met my parents, she informed them ‘that their daughter does weird stuff online’. This just served to freak my mother out. She came home demanding me to show her my online activities, worried that my cousin might be right. I just got majorly pissed off. What was wrong with my cousin? I was stupid enough to accept her friend request. I went ahead and blocked her and a couple of other people. But I don’t think the ‘block’ remains for long, I noticed them ‘liking’ and ‘commenting’ on my posts. How were they even receiving them?

The result of this unfortunate experience was that I stopped accepting friend requests and thought twice before posting anything anywhere. It was painful in the beginning but it’s a lot easier now.

I am still suffering from the repercussions. My mother is no longer as trusting as she was, even though she didn’t find anything wrong with my online activities. But she did make a valid point, “We cannot predict or control the way other people react or interpret what you write, post or share. Maybe your cousin was praising you, but I got it wrong.” True that. (Though I don’t think my cousin was praising me and I doubt my mother gets anything wrong.) So let’s be more careful. You’d think I had posted pictures of myself in sexy lingerie, though there’s nothing wrong in that. It’s my body and if I’m confident enough to post pictures, then so be it. But I’m definitely not prepared for the reactions. If such a beautiful statement (I thought it was particularly good, what with me wanting to become a writer) can become a big issue, then anything can happen in this world.

There have so many times that I haven’t uploaded a particular status, afraid of the various reactions. But I guess, I can write them here, as hardly anyone reads my blog. This is pretty much a safe online way of expressing myself. In case you are wondering, then yes, I actually wrote these status’s down before I forget them.

  • ‘Have you seen Jacqueline Fernandez’s legs in ‘Sau Tarah Ke’? Does anyone agree that she looks insanely hot? So much so that I barely noticed John and Varun? Kaavya Patel, I know you would agree.’

: A girl crushing on another girl. I don’t think it’s that acceptable yet.

jacky

  • ‘I know that the world doesn’t revolve around me. But I sometimes wish it did.’

: This is pretty self-explanatory.

world

 

 

  • ‘You have exhausted you net pack. HOW I HATE THESE WORDS!’

: The whole world (my odd 400 or so friends) does not need to know how fast I go through my allotted net pack. My brother knowing it is enough.

net

  • ‘Listening to this sexy track’

: I have already put this one up, just in a different variation of words, unfortunately, ‘SEXY’ remained. I realized quite belatedly that I have kids that I teach as my ‘Friends’. NOT. GOOD.

sel

  • ‘How can this guy, ____________ (insert celebrity’s name) be so hot?’

: Same reason: kids.

Also, my family and friends judge me for crushing on guys’ way beyond my league.

hot

  • ‘Reading this masterpiece: Insert Book’s Name’

: Apart from the comments trolling your choice of masterpiece, you also get people saying, “You and your books.” Cue eye roll.

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  • ‘Watching this movie at this theatre, this seat with this group of friends or friend.’

: I am simply not comfortable letting others know my exact location and activity.

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  • ‘People treat you like SHIT all the time. It’s up to you whether you let them or no.’

: Easier said than done.

 

  • I HATE MY ____________ (life, parents, work, etc.)

: People like knowing about the ‘GOOD’ parts of your life. Chances are they are not going to respond, call up the person you claim to hate and bitch about you, or be sympathetic. Basically, don’t put it out there.

hate

 

  • ‘Missing my old life. Want a better one.’

: My father retired recently. And we have shifted homes. I am finding it difficult to adjust to the new place, the elongated travel time and many other things. But ADJUSTMENT should be a woman’s middle name, right? I will be judged on my inability to like it, and I will be judged about complaining about it online and the major part who don’t know what I am talking about will judge me and my life.

 

Who wants the hassle of unwanted attention? Write these words in your personal diary or on a blog that no one reads.

Oh wait. That’s what I am doing.

Posted in Life Interuppted

AGE

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I have grown up thinking that I should have achieved so and so by a particular age. Somehow, I personally connected age to my aims and achievements. If I didn’t achieve a particular thing/aim by a certain age, I deemed myself a failure. I was tough on myself.

I would look at other people my age, mostly celebrities and feel bad. They had their own house (or houses), were taking care of themselves and their families, paying their own bills, handling their own accounts, travelling to exotic locales for vacations, wearing exquisite creations and also, working hard at their jobs, whether it was in the Sport or Entertainment industry.

It took me awhile to understand that everyone doesn’t work at the same pace. That all jobs don’t get the same amount of respect or payment, that every job has different demands. And the most important, everyone works on their own clock.

idealist

As rightly said by Satchel Paige,

“Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

satchelpaige164448

True, I may not have a house to my name yet, and I haven’t travelled much and I haven’t worn expensive designer dresses. But I have been working successfully as a teacher for the past four years, I am financially independent, can afford good quality essentials and can take care of myself and my family. I actually know the basics of banking and am paying my own bills. I am also saving money for a rainy day.

I think I have achieved quite a lot. If I compare myself with successful celebrities who are born in the same year as me, I am bound to feel sad.

Sure, they are super rich now and are known all over the world, but they will be constantly afraid that they can’t maintain the lifestyle, paparazzi follows them everywhere, and they are not allowed to have a bad hair day, they are role models for their younger fans and cannot afford to slip up and if they are super wealthy at fifteen, what kind of a childhood did they have?

age-quotes-1

I am not demeaning anyone here, myself or the celebrities. In fact, the point that I am trying to make here is, in order to gain something, you need to lose something. You just need to be ready to make necessary sacrifices and adjustments. If you are lucky enough to choose and follow your dream (it could be a career, or it could be ‘family’ or it could be travelling all over the world) then you need to work hard to achieve it. Nothing can be achieved without hard work. And the grass always looks greener on the other side.

What about those people who share their birth year with me and are not as fortunate as me? What then?

What will they say? It’s all in your perspective. For some, age may just be a number. For others, age may be a motivating factor to achieve something. For still others, age may bring in maturity, decision making capacity and a handle on their emotions.

Yes, it’s very easy to say, “Look at her, she’s 25! She’s so mature and independent. She’s taking care of her two little girls so well. What are you doing?”

I’ll reply, “Umm…nothing. She’s great, I totally agree. But we are both different individuals, happy in our own respective spaces. So, please don’t compare us with one another.”

Comparison should lead to a healthy competition and better results, not people and feelings getting hurt.

I have finally stopped comparing myself with others, irrespective of their age or mine. It’s merely a very effective way of making myself upset; as if there aren’t other factors doing exactly that.

I am going to end with this beautiful Maya Angelou quote,

“Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is age.”

 

Posted in Life Interuppted

Happy Birthday Taylor!!

Today is the 27th birthday of global phenomenon and pop star Taylor Swift! I am proud to call myself her fan, or rather a ‘Swiftie’ as that’s how fans of the singing sensation refer to themselves. Last year, this time, I had forgotten her birthday and felt really upset about it. I was writing an article listing her songs from her last album, ‘1989’, according to my own personal order of favourites. I never finished that article. I was so angry with myself.

1989

So this time, I decided that I had to be prepared. I know that not many readers go through my blog, but this is the place where I express myself. This is the best platform to wish Taylor and write about my love for her. Maybe someday she will chance upon it! And till then, I can connect with other Swifties!

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I first heard of Taylor when a friend introduced me to the ‘Jonas Brothers’ (back when the brothers worked together). She was a huge fan of Joe Jonas, the middle brother. She still is. I started listening to their songs and even noticed a guy in college who looked exactly like Joe! (I went up and told him that too, in the presence of his girlfriend! But that’s for another article.)

One day, I was sitting in my college library, reading the entertainment section of the local newspaper. That’s when I saw Taylor. Her picture was printed along with an article about her relationship with Joe, or rather his sad dumping of her through a text. Now, I had heard a lot about Taylor, from the same friend, though I hadn’t seen how she looked or heard any of her songs. When I read that article, I immediately called up my friend and had a long conversation. Even my friend was upset about Joe’s behavior.

I didn’t forget Taylor after that. Her picture stayed in my mind. She was dressed in a black dress with loads of bracelets on one hand, smiling generously at the camera and striking a pose. I didn’t get the exact picture, but this one is from the same photo shoot.

tay-black-dress-first-pic

Sometime later, I was surfing the music channels and I caught the end of the video of Taylor’s brand new hit ‘Love Story’. I recognized her and saw the video till the end. I liked what I saw. After that, I was always on the lookout for the song to be played again. Its tune was stuck in my mind and I hadn’t even seen or heard the entire song!

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When I finally caught the song, it had already reached number one in the ‘Top Ten’ programme, I saw it from the start to the finish. I absolutely loved it! Who was this Taylor Swift? She was insanely talented. I put her name to the ‘Artist to be remembered’ list in my head. The next song that I heard was ‘Teardrops on my guitar’. (It was not a new song but it was the second Taylor Swift song that I heard.) That sealed the deal. I was officially in love with Taylor Swift. And then I found out that she writes her own songs! I was super impressed! I have always been fascinated with people who have the unique talent of writing, whether they write books, articles, short stories, poems or songs. And this girl wrote such melodious songs and sang them with such aplomb!

By now, I had completely forgotten about Joe Jonas. I began searching for her songs online and loved every single one of them! I started listening to Love Story, Teardrops on my Guitar, Hey Stephen, The Story of US, Fearless, White Horse, You belong with me, Fifteen, Breathe, The way I loved you, Forever and Always, I’d Lie, Crazier, Stay Beautiful, The Best Day, Mean, Ours, Our Song and Mary’s song every day.

I didn’t become a Swiftie immediately. It was her fourth studio album, ‘Red’ that made me her super fan; her transformation in the music videos, the flashing red lipstick, the new haircut, the flowy dresses and the cute shorts! I was in love with everything! Her ability to write her feelings in such catchy songs sucked me in. There were discussions about which song was aimed at which ex-boyfriend of hers. I didn’t join in the discussions but I was definitely intrigued. If I had such lyrical talent, I would be writing about everything! From my fantasies about my high profile crushes, my family life, my friends and my dreams and my opinions on so many things….this girl could write so well, why shouldn’t she write?

By this point, I was reading articles about her online, listening to ‘Red’ every single day and following her on Facebook and Twitter. I thought it was Joe’s loss that he was no longer with Taylor. I was inspired by her quotes and thoughts and read up on her struggle as a new singer-songwriter and how her parents supported her by shifting to Nashville, how she never gave up on her dream…

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The reason that I love her music is that I connect to it. More so, because she writes her own songs, is incredibly good at it and paints such a clear picture in all her songs. She has had her fair share of struggle, dropping demo CD’s outside record producers homes and persuading her parents to shift base to let her try her hand at her dreams. True, she is now mega successful, as today’s definition of success is decided using the parameters of fame and money, but there are tons of stories about her kindness towards fans (1989 Secret Sessions), fellow singers (she invited them for her concerts and sang their songs!) and animals. She is a proud cat owner, or should I say CATS owner as she has two cats- Meredith and Olivia. Yes, I know the names of her cats, that’s how crazy I am.

cat

I may not have been in a single romantic relationship but I understand it when she sings ‘Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago’ (I Knew you were Trouble) or ‘Can you feel the magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed me’ (Today was a fairy tale), ‘I can’t breathe without you, but I have to’ (Breathe), ‘and there he goes, so perfectly… the kind of flawless I wish I could be’ (Teardrops on my guitar), ‘My god, if I could only say, “I’m holding every breath for you” (I’d lie), ‘All those other girls- well, they are beautiful…but would they write a song for you?’ (Hey Stephen), ‘Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you’ (Red)…..I could go on…. All her songs are not based on romantic relationships, some are for friends, parents, life, new beginnings….she writes so well!

It’s only because of her that I attempted songwriting…and I think that I have written two of my best songs already! Hopefully, some professional singer may even actually croon them!

Unbelievably, I still have to listen to some Taylor Swift songs. Yes, as a Swiftie, I should know ALL her songs word by word, but there is a pleasure in knowing that there is a Taylor Swift song that I haven’t heard. As a fellow Swiftie tweeted recently, ‘Listening to a Taylor Swift song for the first time is a very precious experience’! That’s because after that the song is always on a loop! My list includes Enchanted, Innocent, Speak Now, Dear John, Better than Revenge, Haunted, Long Live.

Somehow I feel like it’s my best friend’s birthday today! She has inspired me, made me feel strong, brought a smile on my face, made me cry (each time I watch the video of New Romantics, I’m crying…and crying..) and turned my bad day completely around! I adore her!

It is her birthday today but she is the one who gave us, her fans; a superb gift. Her new single, ‘I Don’t Want to Live Forever’ in collaboration with Zayn Malik is the newest number one song in over 45 countries (the last time I checked). It has been originally composed for the movie ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ and is co-written by Swift. It is an amazing track that fits the storyline of the movie to the T. The internet saw a frenzy when this surprise collaboration dropped on 8th December. First, Taylor hasn’t released any new song since her last album in October 2014 and fans are impatiently waiting for new music from her. Second, Zayn is hot property on the pop market. He was the first one to break form the hugely successful boy band ‘One Direction’ to go solo. He’s dating Gigi Hadid, a supermodel and one of Taylor’s BFF’s, also his former bandmate, Harry Styles and Taylor used to date. Third, the song is a part of the eagerly awaited soundtrack of the ‘Fifty Shades’ film franchise. It is the first official song to be released.

There was no hint that this was happening. When two of pop music’s biggest names collaborate to create a song for a highly anticipated movie sequel, this is what happens.

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But the best part? The song is insanely addictive. I already have it on loop and am listening to it as I am writing. Taylor functions under such huge pressure. Sure, both their names will sell the single. But to skyrocket to number one in so many countries and to stay there, you need sheer talent. This is the first time I closely heard Zayn’s breathy vocals. Sure, I had heard and loved One Direction, but I am not a Directioner, so I was never able to distinguish one’s voice form another. And I have heard three solo songs of Zayn till now, which impressed me but I am not a fan. But this song is IT. Zayn has killed it in this song! This is going to work the other way too. All of Zayn’s fans will adore Taylor’s vocals in it. They must be super fans of Zayn and admirers of Taylor, after this song, they will be on their way to being a Swiftie.

Taylor is smart and knows how to conduct business. She may not have a college degree but she sure uses her brains well. Apart from killer writing skills, she’s tried her hand at Fashion, Acting and is a brand ambassador for many important products. She earns from advertisements and has even trademarked her fabulous lyrics!

She’s donated millions to charity and is vocal about many issues. She’s a loyal friend, just check out the video of ‘Bad Blood’ which is filled with her girl squad. Count me in too!

I may never be her friend though, as I am too much of a fan. I would love to be part of her Secret Sessions that she had with selected fans, letting them hear her new music first. I would also love to receive her ‘Swiftmas’ packages which are personalized and make fans cry. But what I would really love is to attend her live concert once in my life. Now this will happen if I save diligently and travel to where her concert is taking place. Or it may happen if Taylor decides to include India in her ‘World’ tour. I am hoping that this happens. Soon!

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Till then, I am happy listening to all her songs, reading about her, praying for her, following her life on social networking sites and loving her!

I am a proud Swiftie!

Happy wala birthday Tay! I love you to the moon and back!

Posted in The Short Story

Project Humanity

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Amrita made her way through the crowded platform to the Ladies Compartment. It was the Kurla Local, the train that she caught every day. Weaving through the thick crowd of people, she deftly moved ahead.

She had to reach home on time. It was already very late. The sun had set and the night sky was full of twinkling stars. She had to get dressed for her niece’s fourth birthday party. She had gotten a new dress stitched specially for the occasion. It was a glorious green suit with a bright yellow duppatta. The combination brought out her happy-go-lucky personality very well. She had carefully wrapped her niece’s gift almost a week ago. She knew she would be reaching home late and will not get any time for last minute decisions.

Her job, working at the South Mumbai branch of ‘Get Well Soon N.G.O’ left her exhausted. She didn’t have any strength left to go an extra mile for her family. The truth was, she went too much of extra miles for the people her N.G.O helped. She dropped them to the doctor’s clinics, picked up their luggages, helped change their dressing, uplift their depressed mood, and had impromptu gatherings for the sick. Her work was only limited to handling the accounts but she did so much more.

No one had told her to do all that. She did everything of her own accord. She loved helping fellow human beings. Her behavior did not go down well with her folks. In her quest of being helpful to society, she had almost forgotten her family. Her mother often complained that she was not at all bothered by her daughter’s behavior toward others, but was rather disturbed about her behavior towards herself. “Amrita ought to think more about herself,” were her mother’s exact words.

Now climbing aboard the train, Amrita smiled. She was living for herself. Her mother just didn’t understand as yet. When she saw a smile on a young girl’s face as Amrita bought her a giant soft toy, the joy that filled her heart was something that she couldn’t explain. Not to others. Not even to herself.

She sighed. It was difficult. She did her best to please others. But a person could only do so much. She wished there were others like her out there, who cared about someone’ feelings and were not selfish in their desires, who would, in a heartbeat save someone’s life.

But unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Even in this crowded train, no one spared the other a glance. No one got up to offer their seat to a needy person. Everyone had a different definition of “needy”.

Amrita sat on her usual fourth seat; the small space enough for her tired legs to relax.

She checked her phone. Two missed calls. Both were from her sister. She quickly sent a reassuring message to her sister. She wasn’t going to miss the birthday party of her one and only niece. She was on her way.

As she put her phone away, she heard a harsh whisper. The lady right opposite her was furiously whispering on the phone. She seemed to be having a fight.

Amrita couldn’t make out the words but she didn’t miss the tears that the lady was trying hard to blink away. She looked away, a stone set in her heart. Why was it that some people were happy and the others didn’t get an ounce of happiness? Of course, happiness was a very relative term, but looking at the lady made her feel protective towards her. She definitely didn’t look happy.

She stole a glance at the lady. The tears had escaped her eyes and were copiously flowing down both her cheeks. The lady wasn’t making any effort to wipe them away. She still had her right ear pressed to the phone. She wasn’t speaking, only mutely listening. It looked as if whatever the person at the other end was saying was making her cry harder.

As Amrita debated what to do, she noticed that the train had begun moving. Two stations had flown by without her noticing. She quickly looked at her fellow passengers. A middle aged woman with a young daughter, both staring out of the window; an old lady shooting furtive glances at the crying lady; two college girls discussing their upcoming assignment, completely oblivious to the happenings in the train. Amrita’s neighbour, on the other hand was looking at the crying lady, an uncomfortable expression on her face.

Good, Amrita thought. So she could approach someone if they were required to help the lady.

As the next station approached, the middle aged woman alighted with her daughter, freeing up the window seat. The old lady scrambled and sat there, leaving distance between her and the crying lady. Amrita’s neighbour got up and sat on the seat behind Amrita, showing her back to the crying lady. The two young girls had moved on from discussing assignments to cell phones.

Amrita sighed. This was not good. Shifting in her seat to make herself comfortable, she looked at the lady. She was no longer crying. Her tears had dried on her face. Her expression had changed from a sad face to a determined one. She had switched off her cell phone. Not noticing Amrita’s gaze, she got up and approached the door. Amrita craned her neck; the lady threw her cell phone out. Then she calmly came back and resumed her seat.

Amrita’s thoughts were in a scatter. What had just happened? Did the lady just throw her cell phone out? What if someone wanted to contact her? Why would she do something like that?

Amrita looked at the lady again. She knew that only she had seen her throwing her mobile away. The other passengers were not bothered. The lady had shut her eyes. Amrita’s only window to her feelings was gone.

Maybe throwing her mobile had made the lady feel better. Amrita tried to reason with her mind. How could she approach the lady without upsetting or angering her? As she was racking her brain for an idea, the lady opened her eyes. Quietly, she got up and made her way toward the door, leaving her small purse on the seat. She looked around the compartment to see whether anyone was paying her any attention. Amrita pretended not to notice the lady’s movements. She was staring at the purse that the lady had left behind.

What was happening? What was she planning to do? Why was she standing so close to the door?

Amrita already knew all the answers. Quickly, she made up her mind. Grabbing the purse, she walked towards the door. She tried to calm her thudding heart. Approaching the lady, she saw that her feet were halfway outside the train.

Panicking, Amrita said hoarsely, “Excuse me ma’am, you left your purse”.

The lady turned around, her hair whipping her face. She has really beautiful hair, Amrita thought.

She stared at Amrita. There was no expression on her face. Her hand was loosely curled around the door handle. The other hand was hanging limply at her side.

Amrita swallowed. This lady needed help. She hoped that her intervention would prevent her from doing anything drastic.

“Your purse,” Amrita said again, trying a polite tone, holding out the purse towards the lady.

The lady looked at her purse; hanging from Amrita’s outstretched fingers. Then she looked up at Amrita. Seeming in a daze, she stepped forward and accepted her purse.

As she moved away from the door, Amrita exhaled heavily. Trying to keep her voice light, she asked, “Are you alighting at the next station?”

The lady didn’t say anything. Amrita continued enthusiastically, “It’s my niece’s birthday today. She’s turning four today! I’m very excited. My sister is throwing a party and I am going there now.”

The lady flicked a glance at Amrita but otherwise remained mute. “I was in a fix about the present for Kajal, my niece. She already has many dolls and I didn’t want to gift her one more doll,” Amrita babbled. She described the jigsaw puzzle that she finally settled on as the gift in detail to the lady, explaining the endless search and the perfect wrapping paper. She moved on to Kajal’s attire for the evening. She was dressing as a fairy, complete with a tiara and a wand. She continued with portrayal of the menu for the party, giving relishing descriptions of the desserts.

The lady finally turned towards Amrita, her mouth in a scowl, her eyes flashing annoyance. Turning her back on Amrita, she went and sat in the next compartment, which was closer to the door. She sat near the window, blocking Amrita’s view of her.

Amrita debated her next move. She ran to her seat and picked up her satchel and two bags. She made her way to the lady’s seat and plopped down right next to her.

This time, the lady’s eyes were flashing fire. “I never got to tell you about my job,” Amrita said cheerfully, as if they were in the middle of a conversation. The lady turned her head towards the window, resolutely staring at the passing darkness. Amrita started with her job journey, telling her everything from her college graduation till her realization that she wanted to go into social work. She knew that the lady was irritated, maybe even angry. But at least, she wasn’t near the door anymore. And if she had to go that way, she would have to pass Amrita.

“Next Station-Kurla,” blared a woman’s voice from the speakers in the train. Amrita’s breathing became heavy. She couldn’t leave the lady. No, she wouldn’t leave her alone. What if she boarded another train and…. No! Amrita couldn’t even let her thoughts finish.

The train pulled in at the station and everyone alighted. Soon, it was only Amrita and the lady in the train but both of them didn’t move. The same train was scheduled to depart for CST in the next fifteen minutes. New passengers were boarding the train as Amrita and the lady sat silently next to each other.

“You should leave now. You will reach late for your niece’s birthday party,” the lady said softly to Amrita, not looking at her. Amrita sat up, stunned. This lady had heard everything she had spoken.

“What about you?” Amrita asked.

“I’ll be fine,” she replied.

As Amrita started shaking her head, the lady spoke, “I will truly be fine. That moment has come and gone. Thank you for….thank you.” Her voice was subdued.

Amrita opened her mouth but nothing came out. The lady smiled, a dimple appearing in her right cheek.

“Really. Go. Don’t keep Kajal or your sister waiting. And you have a packed day tomorrow,” her voice was kind and she stood up from her seat.

She walked towards the door and stepped on the platform, Amrita scrambling behind her. Suddenly she remembered that the lady didn’t have a phone. “Do you want to call someone?” she asked.

The lady raised her eyebrows and blushed, “No,” she shook her head.

“But,” Amrita protested as the lady waved her away.

“I live close by. I will manage”.

“Okay,” Amrita said in a small voice. She started walking away from the lady but only after a few steps, she turned to check what the lady was doing. She was standing and staring at Amrita.

Amrita walked back to the lady and enveloped her in a fierce hug, “Please take care,” she whispered. Pulling back, embarrassed over her emotions, she pulled a card from her satchel, with her name and details of the N.G.O where she worked. “If you need anything, please call,” she pushed the card in the lady’s hand.

The lady blinked away tears, staring at Amrita. She nodded dumbly.

“Okay. Bye,” Amrita cleared her throat and walked away, wondering when and if would meet the lady again.

The lady, meanwhile, looked at the card, a smile on her lips. Boarding the train again, she stood at the door. Opening her purse, she took out a mobile phone. Dialing a number, she pressed the phone to her ear.

“This is Cadet 637 reporting in. Suitable, if I may say, perfect candidate found for ‘Project Humanity’”, she spoke.

“Details,” the voice on the other end barked.

“Amrita Lokhande, 25, works at a N.G.O”.

“Good. Let’s bring her in,” the voice seemed pleased.

So was the lady. Hanging up, she resumed her position on the seat as the train began moving.